How to be a good boss

Every good leader has been a bad boss at some point.

We’re all human, and all learning.

Winston Churchill is considered to be one of the greatest leaders of our time, but he was also known to have ‘eccentric’ working habits, flares of temper, and required his personal secretary, Elizabeth Layton, to take dictation in the early hours of the morning while he lay in bed in his dressing gown smoking a cigar.

He was also considered to be deeply caring, someone who could take a practical joke, and he inspired so much loyalty in his staff they put their lives on the line in support of his work.

Winston Churchill, aka ‘The British Bulldog.’

Great leader, bad boss? Or a bit of both?

Before you excuse Churchill’s bad-boss behaviour as a relic of his time, I interviewed an Executive PA a few years ago who told me that one of her reasons for leaving a previous job role was that every morning she was expected to sit at the foot of her bosses bed and take notes on her tasks for the day whilst he lay under the covers in a dressing gown, with his bare feet hanging out by her face.

It’s unlikely that anyone reading this blog is quite that much of a bad boss, or, in charge of the sort of events that might change the course of world history.

The truth is, we’re all a mixture of good and bad qualities and leadership often falls upon us by accident.

Do we train our leaders?

Or just promote and expect them to figure it out?

Research carried out by the Chartered Management Institute found that over 80% of bosses in the UK had ‘accidentally’ fallen into management and had no formal leadership training.

Many people never set out to move into management. It’s just the natural result of being in a job for long enough that you get promoted.

Leadership skills and traits tend to be valued on paper - admired profusely on LinkedIn, but rarely actively recruited for or properly developed in people.

If you’re lucky, you might be sent on a short leadership course but by and large you are simply given team targets and then expected to flounder your way towards getting people to meet them.

The impact of bad bosses

Managers - be they good leaders, or bad bosses - have a profound impact on their teams.

The same CMI research study found that half of those who said their bosses were ineffective planned to leave in the next year. Another study found that Managers had more of an impact on people’s mental health than therapists and doctors, and the same level of impact as their spouse.

It’s easy to imagine that we will become one of those inspirational Churchillian types who inspires their people to flourish, minus the dictation in bed. But that takes skill, time, and practice, and when the pressure is on, being a good leader rather than a bad boss is not as simple as it sounds.

What makes a Bad Boss bad? (besides having your staff take dictation at your bedside?)

Ricky Gervais as David Brent in The Office (UK)

Bad dancing is A-ok. Bad boss behaviour isn’t.

  • Forgetting that your people are human.

    During Covid, some leaders were praised for organising work environments that meant their people could avoid the need to ‘work from home’ by simply being trapped at work.

    Beds set up under desks. Food deliveries to the office. ‘But we got it done!’ they chimed.

    Can’t come to work because you’re in a bubble at home? Simple - make work your bubble instead!

    No. People have lives and families. Good leaders put their people before their bottom line.

    When did you last expect your people to work overtime? Why?

  • Preventing your people from developing because you don’t want to lose them, you’re insecure, or you simply don’t have the time.

    Good leaders always risk losing their best people to other opportunities. Then they help to develop more good people, and then they lose those ones to other opportunities.

    Bad bosses stand in the way of their people’s development. Good leaders pull their people up the ladder behind them and push them forward in front.

    Bad bosses are too busy to help their team members flourish. Good leaders set time and energy aside to work on their team’s development.

Don’t be this person.

Artist unknown.

  • Stealing credit, or not noticing when others do.

    Bad bosses conveniently forget to mention that their team’s good ideas came from the team and not from themselves.

    Good leaders let their people have the limelight.

    Good leaders notice the good ideas of others and give recognition.

    Good leaders notice when team members get talked over and ensure everyone has space to shine.

  • Micromanaging.

    This can be common mistake in new managers but some micro-managing bosses never learn to stop.

    Good leaders help their people to learn, and this includes trusting people to get things done even if that means sometimes making mistakes.

    Are you so worried your team will fail that you hang over their shoulders and monitor everything they do? Stop it. Step back. Allow your people to fail so they can learn to succeed.

  • Lack of understanding about issues that don’t directly impact them.

    Good leaders build inclusive teams where people feel like they belong.

    This includes developing an understanding about things that may not impact them.

    Bad bosses blow-off learning about things that may never directly effect them.

    A good leader practices empathy and seeks to fill gaps in knowledge about issues that might effect their team members.

Andre Braugher (Captain Ray Holt) and Andy Samberg (Jake Peralta) in Brooklyn 99.

Good leaders build environments where everyone can be who they are.

  • Solving ‘overwork’ with a pizza party.

Inspiring people to pull all-nighters is not leadership.

Leadership is organising work load in such a way that people don’t need to pull all-nighters.

Good leaders fight to ensure their people are appropriately rewarded for their work.

What makes a Good Leader good?

  • Empathy - they put their people first.

  • They get to know their people.

  • They communicate clearly.

  • They make time for others and actively work on helping their people develop.

  • They can take criticism and feedback.

  • They build an environment of psychological safety.

  • They buffer stress and are on the look-out for signs of overwork and burn-out.

  • They role-model healthy working behaviours.

  • They don’t push boundaries. Bad bosses ‘drop turds’ on friday afternoons. Good leaders wait until monday.

  • They build inclusive working environments and learn about issues that might impact their team.

  • They own their mistakes.

  • They ‘stick their necks out’ for their team and call people out for their bad behaviour. Yes - even if that means challenging their own superiors or the organisation.

Can you go from David Brent to Raymond Holt?

Good leadership is a skillset that can be taught and learned.

Andre Braugher as Captain Raymond Holt. If you haven’t seen Brooklyn 99, you must.

Anybody can be a bad boss, at least some of the time. Good leaders recognise this in themselves.

How to be a better leader

  • Practice self-reflection.

If an interaction with a team member goes well, or badly, think about what happened and how you might approach the same situation next time.

Try using the Gibbs reflective cycle as a practical model to structure your reflections.

  • Make time for self-development.

Do you understand how menopause might impact your team members? Is your organisation’s working environment conducive to neurodiversity? Can you spot the signs of burn-out? Do you know if your team members experience micro-aggressions at work? What would this look like? If someone comes to you because they aren’t feeling too flash and need help, what would you say?

No one knows everything. Read books, attend workshops and courses and seek out mentors. If you don’t know the answer, say so.

  • Practice gratitude.

Sometimes, bad bosses start out as good leaders who get frustrated with problems within their organisation and give up fighting.

If you notice you’re turning into a cynic and losing your love for your job, consider taking steps to get your mojo back before your dissatisfaction becomes contagious.

One way to do this is to practice gratitude. Sure, work sucks sometimes but what are the good bits? Focus on those. If you really find your values no longer align with your organisation, it might be time to take steps to move on.

If it’s not the right time to leave for whatever reason, consider hiring a (qualified) leadership coach or workplace psychologist. Work doesn’t have to suck. Cynicism is one of the warning signals for burnout and it might mean you need a break and some help.

  • Stay human, stay humble.

Besides leadership, Churchill is famous for a lot of good quotes. One of my favourites is “you make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give.”

Bad bosses focus on the getting. Good leaders focus on the giving.

If you can manage absolutely nothing else to do with good leadership, just be a decent human being, put your ego to one side, recruit skilled people, and let them get on with it.

Focus on the giving.

***

Did you find this helpful? Want to check out more of our stuff?

We are Glia, a bunch of workplace psychologists who help organisations build better teams, effective leadership, and happier people.

We offer coaching for individuals, groups and leaders and strategic plans to address and manage psychosocial risks in organisations.

How can we help you and your organisation?

Contact us directly here to discuss what we can do to help.

Meet our qualified, experienced, and very talented workplace psychologists here.

Sign up to our newsletter here.

See all of our upcoming events here.

Follow Glia Director, Bridget Jelley, on LinkedIn here.